


our [literature] club

by minsuji



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-11 04:50:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13516920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minsuji/pseuds/minsuji
Summary: short ddlc oneshots because i love my literature club girls !!





	1. Sayori x Monika

Monika wondered when it began; when she started to hate Sayori a little. It wasn’t like they didn’t get along; they were close friends beyond their President and Vice-President status. She had a suspicion it was because of the new club member. What was his name, again…? Did it matter? She was programmed to call him whatever they decided to name him; it would vary every time. 

After the fifth player, she was sick of it; they were all the same. They would delete her files when all she wanted was to have a conversation with them; a true conversation. All she wanted was to get her happy ending. But there was no such thing, was there? And no matter how hard she tried, she could never delete the game for good. Someone out there would download it, and she would fall in love with them time and time again. 

And each time, she had no choice but to do those horrible things to her friends. Amplify Sayori’s depression, drive Yuri to the point of insanity, make Natsuki’s father abusive. She would always let her feelings for someone from the Real World interfere with her friendships, and she would regret every time she saw her friends hurting. 

But this time, she was determined. Determined to change the violent cycle up. And it would start with her mending her relationship with Sayori.

 

“Sayori, can you stay behind? I want to talk to you.” 

Sayori tilted her head in confusion, halfway through packing her bags. “Of course, Monika. What’s with that expression, though?” 

Monika looked at the MC briefly before taking Sayori’s hand in her own with a sweet smile. “Let’s go?” 

“Oh, okay? MC, go on without me, then!” 

Once the MC had left, Monika knew she had a few minutes before the next day came. 

“Sayori, I have a confession to make.” 

“A confession?” Sayori echoed. Monika nodded, struggling to find the right words. 

“I hate your guts.” 

“E-eh?” 

“Or so I thought,” Monika amended. “But after the first ten times, I realized who I really hated; it wasn’t you, or Yuri, or Natsuki. It was myself. I hate myself for not keeping the club as is, and letting my selfishness get in the way of our happiness. I wanted to write my own ending, and in the process, wrote you all out of it. I even deleted you girls from the game!” 

“I...don’t understand. What ending? What game?” Sayori asked, laughing nervously. “Monika, you’re scaring me.” 

“Sorry. I don’t even know if you’ll remember this tomorrow. But I’m so over MC. It’s time I move on; I just have to face it, don’t I? That the Real World is far from my reach.” 

Monika sat down on a desk and crossed her legs, exhaling shakily. “And why did I expect you to understand? You’re preprogrammed. I don’t even know how this conversation with you is possible.” 

An unrecognizable gaze clouded Sayori’s eyes. “I still don’t know what you’re talking about Monika, but if you’re hurting, I can’t accept this.” She reached for Monika’s hand and intertwined their fingers together, looking into Monika’s green eyes earnestly. “I want nothing more than for my club members to be happy. Is that too much to ask?” 

“Of course not,” Monika whispered, heart unconsciously picking up speed. For a moment, she wondered what this feeling was. She licked her lips and continued, “but...I’ve been so awful to you for so long.” 

“I forgive you, Monika. For all those things you’ve done. They were in the past; you’re better now, aren’t you?” 

Huh? 

“Sayori...do you...remember?” 

Monika felt Sayori’s grip tighten, and without an answer, the brunette bit her lips. She brought her other hand to Sayori’s waist and pulled her closer so that their faces met.  “Please, Sayori, answer me. I need to know; it’s driving me insane!” Monika pleaded, vision swimming in her hysteria.

“...yeah,” Sayori whispered. “Every time. I guess the jig’s up, huh?”

Monika let go, tears threatening to fall. “And...and you let me?” 

“I knew you would figure it out on your own at some point. And I was right, wasn’t I? That you’d figure it out, I mean.” 

“Yeah, I… I think I really did. I’m so sorry, Sayori.” 

“It’s okay, Monika. Really, it is.” 

And in the slowly fading clubroom, Monika embraced Sayori for the first time. And right before everything fell to black, she thought to herself that this was the closest to a Real Emotion she has ever felt: love.


	2. Sayori x Natsuki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the sweetest girls,,

When Natsuki first met Sayori, she was taken aback by how happy she was. She was simple and caring, and cute--everything Natsuki loved. And at some point, she grew to fall in love with Sayori herself. Not that she’d ever admit that, though.

And so, another day passes as she sits in the corner of the room, peering over her manga at the older girl subtly. She was clumsy and loud at times, even to the point of injuring herself on accident, and Natsuki wanted to make sure she didn’t get hurt again. 

She watched as Sayori organized the books in the front of the room by the teacher’s desk, cleaning the shelves occasionally when she found a speck of dust. Natsuki came to realize that although Sayori was a mess herself, the club could count on her to be clean when she needed to be. It was a sort of organized chaos. 

“Sayori,” Natsuki suddenly said, and Sayori jumped in surprise. Apparently, she was not expecting anyone to break the comfortable silence. 

“What is it, Natsuki?” Sayori asked, wiping her fingers on the hem of her skirt. Natsuki frowned at the action, disapproving. But instead of calling her out like she would normally, she asked instead:

“What sweets do you like?” 

“Sweets…?” 

At this, the other members perked up, all turning their heads to look at her. 

“Hey, I didn’t say I would make anything!” Natsuki clarified, glaring pointedly around the room. “I just...wanted to know.” 

“My favorite sweets… I like anything that Natsuki makes!” Sayori chimed, grinning brilliantly at Natsuki. It was blinding.

“What are you saying? That’s not rational,” Natsuki protested weakly, although her face that was beaming with pride could say so otherwise. She closed her book and stood up, smoothing down her blazer and fidgeting nervously with the corner of the page.

“Really, Natsuki! Anything is fine,” Sayori insisted, throwing her a thumbs up. “Seriously, your cupcakes are the best!” 

“Natsuki, perhaps you could make a variety of sweets for us,” Monika suggested, and Natsuki bit back the urge to inform everyone that she was not making anything for them. But thinking back on it, it might be a good idea.

“Okay, but I’m going to need help,” Natsuki said begrudgingly. 

“Then, how about Sayori?” Monika asked, sidling up to Sayori with her eyes twinkling. 

That Monika. She knows, doesn’t she?

“Yeah. Since I did ask her and all,” Natsuki agreed, playing along.

“Eh? That’s not fair! We should all help out,” Sayori complained, pressing her fingers together and pouting.

“Well, we don’t have an oven in this classroom. And it isn’t like you two can’t get it done on your own, right?” Monika continued, putting her hands on Sayori’s shoulders.

“Right,” Natsuki said. “Don’t try to get out of this, Sayori.”

“Aw… fine. You want to come over, then? On Sunday, Natsuki?”

“Um… yeah.” Natsuki tried not to let her excitement show.

 

Come Sunday morning, Natsuki found herself in Sayori’s home. 

“It’s clean in here,” Natsuki said, entering with her baking supplies. Looking around, she could hardly see any splashes of Sayori’s personality in the white walls.

“Ehehe, yeah, I cleaned up a little before you came,” Sayori said, rubbing the back of her head nervously. “Seriously, I get really worked up about impressing my guests, you wouldn’t believe.”

“You don’t have to impress me, you know,” Natsuki muttered, making herself at home in Sayori’s kitchen.

“Really? I’m surprised, Natsuki. You seem like the kind to be super, super critical about that sort of stuff!”

“Is that what I seem like to you?” Natsuki asked, feeling a little self conscious. She began to unpack her bag, pulling out the ingredients and laying them out on the table. “Yeah, I like clean things, but I’m not super picky about it.” Especially when anywhere is nicer than back at home.

“What’s wrong with your hand?” 

Natsuki glanced down at her bandaged fingers, and shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t know.”

“You… don’t know what happened to your own hands?” Sayori asked with concern.

“Just forget about it,” Natsuki huffed, brandishing a whisk menacingly and glaring into Sayori’s eyes. “Follow my instructions, now.”

 

They made an assortment of sweets, as planned. There were brownies, cookies, cupcakes, and even small chocolates. This was probably the most Natsuki has ever made in one sitting. 

“Wow, this is amazing!” Sayori exclaimed, clapping her hands in delight. “I’m proud of ourselves!”

“Yeah,” Natsuki agreed. “All that’s left is decorating.”

“Oh! In that case, I’m going to step into the bathroom before we start that,” Sayori said after checking the clock.

“Hurry up,” Natsuki said, impatience lacing her voice. “This is the best part, you know!” 

Sayori giggled. “Yeah, yeah.” 

As Natsuki watched Sayori’s disappearing frame, she found an idea had come to mind.

 

Natsuki was cute; Sayori had always known that. So when she entered her kitchen to see Natsuki standing there with an embarrassed expression, she couldn’t help but coo a little. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked. 

“Nothing’s wrong, per say,” Natsuki said quietly. 

Sayori glanced down at the sweets, and saw icing on the cookies. “Did you start without me? What does this say? ‘I love yo-’” Oh. Oh. 

“Is... that for MC?” Sayori asked, playing dumb.

“No, stupid! It’s...for you…” Natsuki mumbled, burying her face into her small hands. Sayori decided that the teasing was over, and she leaned closer, prying Natsuki’s stubborn fingers off. 

“I’m going to eat it, okay?” Sayori said. Without waiting for an answer, she took the cookie and bit into it. As the sugar flooded her mouth, she continued, “this is really good, Natsuki. Perhaps it is because you made it with your love?” 

“D-don’t say that sort of stuff, Sayori! That’s really embarrassing!” Natsuki shouted, face red. 

Sayori chuckled, and said, “It’s a joke. Thanks, Natsuki.” 

“Well, aren’t you going to respond?” Natsuki asked after a moment of silence.

“Respond? Ah.” She intertwined her fingers with Natsuki’s and pulled her closer, pressing a soft kiss against her lips. 

“I love you, too.” 

A girl who can’t admit her feelings verbally, and another who is deceitful in nature. At first glance, it doesn’t seem like they would work out. 

But Sayori and Natsuki are proof that they do.


	3. Sayori x Yuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um, so t/w: mentions of cutting and depression... it's a pretty bittersweet chapter considering the characters we're working with but um please enjoy...

When Sayori first saw Yuri’s arm, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her own old wounds had throbbed at the memory, and shakily, she asked Yuri if anything was wrong in her life to make her do this. 

“Are you okay? Please talk to me about it, I’m worried,” Sayori had urged, but Yuri simply brushed it off, saying that it was her choice and she would appreciate it if Sayori kept it a secret from the others.

Sayori didn’t want to betray her girlfriend’s trust, but she couldn’t deal with the burden of knowing Yuri’s sickening obsession alone. At times, she wondered if she should tell Monika about it. But every time that thought crossed her mind, she chose not to. Maybe it was because she respected Yuri’s intuition and her contribution as a club member. Perhaps it was because she could understand a bit of where Yuri was coming from, what with her own problems. Or maybe it was the fact that she was just too scared to confront her about it and stake their relationship on the line.

Whatever it was, she didn’t tell the others. Instead, she decided to lay low and watch Yuri’s next actions.

 

The problem was, Yuri rarely showed any emotion, and was good at pretending like she was just any other normal girl. In a way, Sayori was the same. But Yuri’s problem was a big one, and unlike Sayori’s, it couldn’t easily be “fixed” with depressants.

So she put her foot down, and cornered Yuri in her classroom.

“Sayori? What are you doing here?” Yuri asked in surprise.

“Um, can I talk to you in private?” 

“Private?”

Sayori nodded, and Yuri sighed, closing her book. “Very well, Sayori. Where shall we go?”

“Bathroom.” 

The trip down the hallway was a silent one, with questions very obviously hanging in the air. To herself, Sayori remembered a phrase Yuri liked to quote: Stagnant air is common foreshadowing that something terrible is about to happen. 

And worrying her lips, she prayed that wasn’t the case this time.

 

“Yuri, you told me to you don’t want to, but I think you should consult a therapist.” 

“I can’t,” Yuri responded immediately.

“E-eh?! Why?” Sayori grabbed Yuri’s hands in her own and said, “trust me, therapy will help!” 

“I don’t think you would understand, Sayori. You’re so... happy. Without the need for knives, without any bloodlust. I’m not like that. This is the only way I can get any happiness.” Yuri exhaled, breath shaky. “Please let me have this.”

Sayori blinked back tears, her lower lip quivering. She wasn’t happy, at all. She pretended to be, but dark thoughts always swirled around in her head, threatening to finally make her do herself in.

“I… I can’t do that, ” Sayori said quietly, sharply looking Yuri in the face. “I know firsthand that that sort of problem needs help, Yuri.”

“You... you do?” 

Sayori nodded, wiping at her eyes and trying not to cry. Don’t cry, don’t cry. Be strong, for Yuri.

“I… I hid my depression. And I’m still hiding it from you guys, and I’m so, so sorry about that. But I’m going to therapy. I-it’s helping, I think.” 

“You think?” 

“Because… I feel a little better. Still cloudy days, but better. And Yuri, I think you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help. I care for you a lot, you know? I love you. So… so please let me do this for you. As your clubmate, friend, and lover.” 

Yuri was visibly shaking, and with her nails, was delicately scratching her arms through the school blazer. “I don’t know if I can, Sayori.”

“You don’t have to do it alone, Yuri! I would never make you. I’ll be there for you, holding your hands, giving you kisses… it’s not much, but I want to help you,” Sayori rambled, running her hands through her hair. “I… I want to be a good girlfriend and help you if you have problems.” 

“I do, too, Sayori. You mentioned that you have depression… I never knew about that…!” 

Sayori looked down, shuffling her feet and sniffing. She felt guilty about it, but it wasn’t something she could tell anyone out of the blue. What? “These cupcakes are delicious! Oh, I have depression, by the way” ?

“I have been so caught up in my own feelings, I didn’t even think to consider how you may be feeling or what you’re going through. I’m… the absolute worst!” Yuri shouted, and to Sayori’s shock, it was the dark haired girl that was crying. 

“Yuri…”

“I’m a letdown. I let you, the one I love the most, down…! With my own issue occupying my mind, I couldn’t see that you were hurting, too! Does that not mean I’m nothing more than an egotistical, selfish person?”

Sayori shook her head quickly. “Of course not, Yuri! Don’t say that kind of thing. I’m sorry for not telling you, it’s my fault.” 

“Then how could I make it up to you? Your fault or not, I am still to blame, too!” Yuri exclaimed, grabbing Sayori’s shoulders. 

Sayori let out a soft smile, a faint one that Yuri hardly noticed at first glance. 

“Yuri, you don’t need to do anything for me.” She lifted a hand up to cup Yuri’s cheek, and whispered, “I just want you-no, us, to get better. So, please come with me?”

“To therapy?” 

Sayori nodded, and finally, her tears began to fall. “I love you too much to lose you, Yuri.” 

Yuri leaned into the touch, her own tears trickling down even more. “I’m sorry, Sayori. I’ll go... so please, don’t cry…” 

“That’s all I want, Yuri,” Sayori giggled, and she felt for Yuri’s tie. Gently, she yank it down, pulling Yuri with it, and pressed a hard kiss to Yuri’s mouth. 

Letting go, she giggled again. “Want to walk home with me today?” 

“Yeah,” Yuri whispered. “That would be most enjoyable.”


	4. Yuri x Natsuki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this one is a bit longer, and has been inspired by the Yuri and Natsuki relationship development found in act 4... please enjoy this as compensation for my lack of updates recently ;)

It had become routine for them, to visit the bookstore close to the store and suggest novels and manga to each other. To spend time with someone she thought she hated, and then coming to realize that she wasn’t all that bad… it was exciting.

Yeah, it was like flying for the first time, or getting a hundred on a test she hadn’t studied for. It was the satisfaction knowing that you didn’t really know anything, like touching something you thought was intangible. 

Natsuki felt a warmth spread through her chest as she continued to peruse the manga section of the store, face glowing with excitement. She had recently realized what her feelings for Yuri may mean, but she did not want to accept them so wholly just yet. She wanted to savor the discovery, let it take over her mind and soul.

Picking up a romance volume, she quickly flipped through the pages, and absentmindedly, stopped at page 34. 

The male protagonist had grabbed his love interest by the waist and tilted his head to kiss her, eyes closed while the girl’s face was one of shock. But then she closed her eyes and leaned deeper into the kiss, a beautiful moment locked in time within the ink of the book. And when they pulled away, faces pink, she had whispered, “what was that for?”

And the protagonist responded, looking into her eyes with determination, “I love you. I was afraid someone would take you away, so I made the move first.”

Natsuki closed the manga hurriedly, flushing. She was not expecting to see the main character so forward with his feelings. She was jealous, in a way.

“Natsuki? Have you found the next volume to Tokyo Ghoul?” 

She whirled around, and quickly put the manga down before looking properly at the girl standing in front of her. Meet Yuri, aka Natsuki’s crush. Behind those beautiful, soft eyes was a demon, she was convinced of it. Why else would she feel so shaky in her presence?

“Yeah,” Natsuki said, fighting the urge to inform her friend that she thought she was a servant of Satan. Instead, she gestured to the manga that had been tucked neatly underneath her arms.

“Then, let’s go check out.”

“O-okay.” 

Following the other girl gave Natsuki an opportunity to look at the girl from behind, her long hair entrancing. Natsuki wondered what it would feel like in her hands as she sinned, kissing another girl under the disapproving stare of society. 

She shook her head furiously, blush creeping up her neck. She needed to go pray later.

 

Her curiosity, however, only grew from that day forward. In the literature club, she would sneak glances in Yuri’s direction when she wasn’t noticing, and would wonder once more: what kissing Yuri would be like. 

And in a week, she finally accepted it; she was in love with Yuri. And she would confess in the most forward way she could think of to avoid Yuri thinking of her as a friend anymore.

“Yuri, let’s go to the bookstore again today,” Natsuki said, flustered. 

“Sure,” Yuri said, luckily packing her bag and not looking at Natsuki in the eye. If she had, Natsuki was probably done for.

“Did you enjoy the novel I chose for you?”

“Yeah… how did you know I would like it?” 

Yuri tapped her chin before giving Natsuki a small smile. “Intuition, I suppose.”

“Hah? Intuition?” Natsuki giggled, tilting her head and giving Yuri a rare expression of what she hoped reflected her love towards the other girl, but probably just made her look constipated instead. “You’re so dumb. Let’s go, Yuri.”

 

How did it turn out like this? 

Natsuki tried to fight back her angry tears, rubbing aggressively at her face and trying to erase the memory of Yuri’s lips. She shouldn’t have enjoyed it, not when Yuri reacted like that. 

She had kissed her in the corner, near the romance shelves, and foolishly thought Yuri would return her feelings. She had grabbed her by her shirt collar and jerked her downwards to meet her mouth with her own, shutting her eyes tight. And she thought Yuri was kissing her back in earnest, but in moments, she had been forcibly pushed away. 

“What are you doing, Natsuki?” Yuri had asked, fear reflecting in her eyes. “Was that an accident? Please tell me it was an accident, a mistake, anything.”

“How could that be a mistake, you idiot?” Natsuki asked, crossing her arms and side eying Yuri. “I love you.”

And at that, Yuri had started to cry, and she ran out of the bookstore. 

Now Natsuki is alone, on the floor with her face buried into her arms.

“Natsuki?”

She looked up, and there was the one person she hoped wouldn’t see her here--the newest club member. He was the only one who had never seen her cry, but here he was now, watching her only moments after the blatant rejection.

“What do you want?” 

“I saw what happened.”

Great. 

“What, are you going to tell your friends? Turn me into the police?” Natsuki laughed bitterly. “Go ahead. Nothing can be worse than this, you know.” 

“Actually, I was going to ask you if you were okay.”

 

“Do I look okay?” she shot back bitterly.

“...right. Well, do you want to talk about it?” 

Natsuki glanced at his earnest expression, and bit her lips. She was going to reject his offer, but she did want to get some things off her chest. 

“Fine. Sit down.” She patted the seat next to her, and rested her chin on her kneecaps, eyes following his movements. “So… I think it was a week or two ago when I realized I liked Yuri. And I wanted to kiss her. As you saw, that didn’t work out. I don’t understand… she didn’t seem like the kind to react like that, y’know?”

He was silent for a moment before saying, “Didn’t she act like that because you didn’t give her a warning beforehand? Or asked her about how she was feeling?” 

Natsuki’s eyes widened as she continued to stare at the new member. “Wait, really? There’s… there’s a chance she might like me?” 

He nodded. “I guess that’s a possibility. But she might just be as confused as you were that week ago.” 

Natsuki grinned like an idiot, and playfully punched him in the arm. “You’re kinda smart, aren’t you?” She stood up and smoothed her skirt, eyes gleaming with determination. “Thanks. That’s what I needed to hear. I’m going to properly talk to her!” 

“Um, you’re welcome,” he mumbled, rubbing his arm. “Though I don’t know why you had to hit me.” 

“Oh, man up,” Natsuki sighed, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “And by the way, don’t tell anyone about this conversation. I have an image to keep up.”

“Yeah, yeah.” The new member smiled, throwing Natsuki a thumbs up. “Good luck, Natsuki. I’ll be supporting you from the sidelines.” 

 

“Yuri.”

The girl jumped in place, holding her bag to her chest and looking back at Natsuki nervously. She had taken a different path to school on purpose; how did Natsuki find her route?

“Y-yes, Natsuki-san?” 

Natsuki sighed, rubbing the back of her head nervously. “No formalities. Seriously, don’t act so weird because of what I did.” 

She paused, and quietly said, “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I’m sorry for-” Yuri began, but Natsuki cut her off.

“Seriously, you should stop apologizing. I’m clearly the one who stepped out of line. But here I am, to tell you properly.” 

Natsuki took a deep breath, and suddenly bowed.

“E-eh? Why are you bowing, Natsuki?” 

“Yuri, please accept these feelings I have for you!” 

Yuri averted her eyes immediately, sight swimming. “No, I can’t.” 

“Why? Do you not have feelings for me?” Natsuki demanded to know, and Yuri gulped at her tone. 

“It… isn’t that. I… may like you in that way. But I want to know, Natsuki… do you not resent yourself for loving another girl? Because I do. Every day. I hate myself for loving someone like you.”

“Is there something wrong with me, then? Enough for you to hate yourself for having feelings towards me?”

“Of course not! I just think… it’s unnatural for two girls to like each other this way.”

“I don’t.”

How forward. Yuri blushed, and buried her face in her hand. “I…”

“Do you want to give it another try? The kiss.” 

“K-kiss?!” 

“Only if you’re comfortable. But I liked kissing you.”

Yuri couldn’t help but feel guilty. Here Natsuki was, being the frankest she had ever been, and she wanted to return the sentiment. A part of her wanted to kiss her over and over, to the point of destroying what purity there was between them, and that was frightening. She had been holding back for so long, for fear of what she may do if she gets too carried away. Yet here was Natsuki, the very girl she dreams of, telling her that she enjoys doing things like that with her. How could she not reply in earnest?

“Very well. Then, I’ll kiss you now.”

Natsuki shut her eyes immediately, and something stirred in Yuri. Here was Natsuki, vulnerable and so trusting of Yuri. It was so cute. 

In one fell swoop, Yuri captured Natsuki’s lips in her own, a desire spreading through her veins. This was bad; she was falling even more in love. 

Natsuki moved her lips against her own, and Yuri finally closed her eyes too, letting herself succumb to whatever Natsuki did. 

And then, it was over. Natsuki had pulled away, eyes light and lips red. 

“That was… good. I think,” Natsuki said cautiously, as if watching Yuri for a reaction. Yuri just nodded, breathless. 

“Can we do that again?” Yuri asked cautiously, and Natsuki’s face lit up.

“Y-yeah!” 

Though the girls didn’t know, a certain club member was watching them with a satisfied grin. 

“Congratulations, Natsuki.”


	5. Monika x Natsuki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while oops... hi tho I bring really gay girls ;)

“Natsuki, you’re staying behind today?” 

The pink haired girl glanced to the side, shuffling in place. “Well, yeah. If that’s okay with you.”

“Of course, it’s no problem for me. But can I ask why? Won’t your parents be worried?”

Silence.

“Well, I suppose I’m not I’m not due home for awhile anyway.”

 

“Eh? Why?” 

“My parents are away on a business trip for a while.”

At this, Natsuki’s eyes widened. “Huh! I thought that only happened in manga. Guess some people really are super busy. Must be nice, having the house to yourself, getting to come and go whenever you want.”

“Not really. You get super lonely, and it’s boring after a while. Say, Natsuki, do you want to play a game?”

“A game? Like what?”

“Hm, I think the only game we have is chess.”

“Chess? I’m not good at it.”

“Please? It’ll be fun.”

Natsuki looked into Monika’s earnest eyes, and sighed in resignation. “F-fine. But if I lose, just know it’s because this is the first time I’m playing!”

“That’s fine. Do you know the rules?”

“Yeah,” Natsuki huffed. “Let’s just set this up already.”

They pushed two of the desks together and placed the board that Monika had fished out from the closet at the center. Afterwards, Monika began placing the pieces in the right spaces, a seemingly aloof smile playing at her lips. 

“Then, let’s begin.” 

They sat across from each other, Monika at white and Natsuki at black.

“Oh, should we make this a little more interesting?” Monika asked suddenly, and Natsuki stared at her. 

“How?”

“It’s no fun without a reward. How about the loser has to do whatever the winner wants?”

“Huh?” Natsuki squinted her eyes suspiciously at Monika. “Anything?” 

Monika nodded. “How about that? Sounds fun, right?”

“What are you up to?”

 

“Nothing. Just want to make it more fun.”

Natsuki was conflicted. She knew there was slim chance she could possibly win against Monika, but at the same time, she could do anything to her? 

She wanted to see an embarrassed expression on Monika, then. She never seemed to be flustered, and that irritated Natsuki.

“Fine, I accept!” 

“Great~ then, I will be white, if that’s okay.”

“Doesn’t matter to me.” 

Monika continued to smile, and at this point, Natsuki was sick of it. “I’m gonna wipe that grin off of your face,” she declared, staring right into Monika’s pretty little eyes.

“We’ll see. Pawn to E4,” Monika hummed, moving the piece. Natsuki smirked, moving her pawn to E5. 

“How will you move now?” she giggled, smirking at the girl before her. Monika, however, was not phased.

“Bishop to C4,” Monika said, and at that, Natsuki frowned. Surely, she should make moves with her other pawns? At least, that’s what Natsuki believed, but she was no chess master. 

She bit at her fingernail, and moved her knight to C6. In another two moves she could take the bishop. 

Monika chuckled and gingerly brushed her finger against the white queen, bringing it to space F3. 

Natsuki’s eyes widened. The queen already? What was Monika’s ulterior motive? She shook her head quickly. Perhaps it was a bluff. Natsuki went forth and put her knight to A5. In the next move, she could take the white bishop.

“Checkmate.”

Natsuki froze, staring at the board in disbelief. “H-how?!” 

The white queen was on F7. And certainly, her king had nowhere to go. Simply put, it was stuck. Game over.

“Say, Natsuki, have you ever heard of a four move checkmate?” 

“Huh?”

“That’s what just happened right here. And now, for my reward.” 

Natsuki stared at her, sighing in resignation. “Fine. What do you want from me?”

“How about… a kiss?” 

Natsuki’s face reddened, and she spluttered in disbelief. “Excuse me?!” 

Monika licked her lips, looking straight into Natsuki’s eyes. “You heard me.” 

Natsuki blushed, standing up quickly and hugging herself. “W-well…”

“It’ll be really quick. Don’t go back on your word now, Natsuki.”

Natsuki buried her face into her arms, heart beating erratically. How was it that Monika could ask something of her so boldly? Then again, Natsuki had no qualms, especially with her muddled feelings towards her clubmate. But she couldn’t let Monika believe so.

“I don’t know…” Natsuki mumbled, face still buried. She felt a soft touch to her hair, and she lifted her head up to come face to face with the club president, who was brushing through the pink strands with affection.

“It will be fun,” Monika whispered. “Please?”

Finally giving up, Natsuki huffed, “Fine. Make it quick; I’m gonna go home after this.”

At that, Monika crashed her lips against Natsuki’s, catching her off guard. 

Monika’s eyes fluttered shut, and Natsuki screwed her eyes closed too, standing rigid as a board. Monika pressed her lips more insistently, and Natsuki opened it a fraction to allow Monika to slip a little bit of her tongue into her eager mouth. 

 

Natsuki’s whole body was experiencing a rush, a buzzing from her head to toes. Monika brought her hand to Natsuki’s slim waist, sending flames at the touch. She trailed her fingers downwards to the pink haired girl’s leg as she continued to kiss her, brushing just over her skirt hem and driving her crazy. 

The moment ended too soon, with Natsuki dizzy from the sinful act, lips wet and face red. 

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Monika asked, smiling, her eyes glistening over with an unrecognizable sign.

“I-I guess not,” Natsuki panted, hyper aware Monika’s hand was still on her thigh. “But I think you need to show me again.”

“Oh? Are you rewarding me more?” 

Natsuki looked away, eyes downcast and biting at her bottom lip. “What do you think, idiot?” 

Monika laughed, and brought her other hand to Natsuki’s cheek. “Okay. Should I keep kissing you? Everyday, for the rest of your life?”

“That sounds like you’re… you know, asking me out,” Natsuki mumbled, clearly embarrassed. 

“Who said it wasn’t?” 

Natsuki glowered. “Shut up and kiss me again, Monika.” 

Monika giggled. “As you wish, princess."


	6. Yuri x Monika

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ehe sorry for not updating in a while, i just wasn't feeling it,, i had a hard time writing this; it was a weird ship in all its honesty, considering what happens between these two after act one (o-o;) anyways pls enjoy ok bye

Monika wondered what was wrong with her. Only recently had her epiphany hit her, and it had made her feel down--what exactly were the creators thinking, not letting her have a chance at love? Natsuki, Yuri and Sayori could fall in love, but all she could do was watch, smiling helplessly. 

She sighed, lifting a hand and looking through the spaces between her fingers at the ceiling. What was it that she lacked? Why had she been created this way?

“Not editing the script tonight, Monika?” 

Monika smiled ruefully, turning a head to look at the beautiful girl who was leaning against a desk, twirling a knife between her fingers. 

“I will, soon.” 

Yuri giggled, an action that was off-putting because of Monika’s...modifications. The original Yuri would never do something like that, at least, not that Monika could remember. She had done so many different changes to the others, the lines between what was real and what wasn’t had blurred.

“Forget about him, Monika. I will if you will.” 

“Hm? Why would you say that, Yuri?” 

Yuri hummed, running her finger against the sharp blade. “Cause I like you?” 

“Is your script broken?” Monika asked, reaching for Yuri to type in a command.

“No, of course not,” Yuri laughed, capturing Monika’s hand that was outstretched with her own. “I wrote a poem for you, Monika~”

She handed Monika a stained piece of paper, giggling. 

“Is this what I think it is?” Monika muttered to herself. “You were supposed to give this to Player tomorrow.” 

“Supposed to? But I only love you, Monika!” Yuri said, eyes wide.

“Yeah, your script is definitely broken,” Monika sighed, snatching her hand away and tossing the paper aside. “Here, let me fix you. You’re too out of character, even for my liking.” 

 

Yuri fell silent as Monika ran a hand through her violet hair, the other typing away. 

“I want to stay the way I am,” she blurted, and Monika paused in surprise.

“What was that?” 

“I know it’s wrong for me to feel this way, but I love being like this. I feel a buzzing in me, and it’s great! I’ve never been more alive, Monika. So, please…” 

“Ah, really…” Monika brought her hand to Yuri’s face and smiled, eyes glittering. “You’re disgusting.” 

“So are you,” Yuri said, fumbling to give Monika the knife. “Now, please, Monika, do whatever you want with me!” 

“If you mean kill you, I can’t,” Monika murmured, but she took the knife anyways, putting it aside and brushing her thumb over Yuri’s lips. 

Yuri grabbed onto Monika’s hands, face a flushed pink. “Why not?” she asked, pleadingly. “Please, it would make me so happy!”

“That’s enough of you, now,” Monika chided, sitting down on the floor and patting her thighs. “Go to bed, I’ll wake you up later.” 

Yuri’s eyes lit up, and she obediently fell to the floor, crawling towards Monika to rest her head in her lap. 

Monika’s gaze fell towards the taller girl, who had settled and closed her eyes. She watched her slowly fall asleep, the only sounds in the classroom the ticking of the clock. Once her breathing became even, a telltale sign of her finally being unconscious. 

Monika smiled fondly, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead before pulling up her commands once more. 

 

“Are you okay now?” the Player asked Yuri, furrowing his eyebrows worriedly. 

“Yes, thank you for worrying,” Yuri said, smiling. “I don’t know what came over me the other day, but I’m fine now.” 

“Good to hear,” Player said. 

“Player, come here!” Natsuki yelled from the other side of the room. “These books are too high up for me to reach!” 

Player looked to Yuri with hesitation, remembering how possessive Yuri had been. But Yuri just gave him a nod before walking towards Monika. 

“Thank you,” Yuri said, taking Monika’s hand in her own. “I know you returned me to normal, Monika.”

Monika tilted her head, feigning ignorance. “I’m not sure what you mean. I didn’t do anything, really…”

Yuri blinked, confused. “What-?”

Monika rolled her eyes, giggling, and yanked Yuri down towards her to kiss her. “Just kidding.” 

“Oh my god, ew! I did NOT need to see that!” Natsuki yelled, and Monika turned to see her covering her eyes with her hands. 

“Relax, Natsuki, it’s just a kiss,” Player said, looking at Monika and Yuri apologetically. “She’s being melodramatic, congratulations on your relationship.”

“We-we’re not-” Yuri began, but Monika cut her off to give a suggestive comment of her own:

“Thank you, Player. I hope you and Natsuki start dating soon <3” 

And now it was Player’s turn to be embarrassed. “We aren’t anything like that,” he insisted, shaking his head and nudging Natsuki for help.

“That’s right! W-why would you say such weird things, Monika?” Natsuki stammered, blush giving her feelings away easily.

Monika laughed, wrapping her arms around Yuri. “Okay, sure.” But for some reason, she thought about the member who was missing, and couldn’t help but feel guilty. In her quest for love, she had deleted Sayori, thinking that Player was her only option. But now she had Yuri, an unlikely person to show her romantic feelings. The guilt was heavy, alright, like a bag of weights. She wondered if she was still in the recycling bin somewhere. Maybe she would bring Sayori back tonight.

But for now, she pressed another kiss against Yuri’s forehead and let go, clapping her hands once. “Okay, guys, let’s get the club meeting started!”


	7. Sayori x MC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t/w: attempted suicide, intrusive thoughts, and drug overdose
> 
> this is a bittersweet chapter, and could be potentially triggering. do not proceed if you don't want to read about mentions of suicide and depression.
> 
> also, it's not really a romantic chapter. sorry if the title is misleading.

“Are you feeling okay now, Sayori?”

Sayori opened her eyes, and turned. It’s MC. She shook her head, letting out a half hearted laugh. “Honestly? I wish I was dead.”

 

The car ride home from the hospital was quiet, the only sounds surrounding the three being the traffic outside. At some point, her parents started to whisper, but Sayori couldn’t focus on what they were saying; all she could think of was the fact that she was so useless, she couldn’t even kill herself properly.

“Let’s stop by the park,” her dad had suggested to lighten up the mood, but Sayori just shook her head.

“I want to go home and sleep, papa,” she mumbled, looking at her dad through the rear view mirror, and she saw that he was exchanging a worried look with her mother. 

“Sayori, honey,” her mother began, turning in her chair to look at Sayori. “Is there something that has been bothering you? Is it stress? From school?”

“Why would I be stressed?” Sayori said, her usual sunny demeanor dampened. “Do you even know anything about me, mother?” 

“I know I have been very busy lately, Sayori, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand you,” her mother said sharply. “If it isn’t school, what is it? When I was your age, stress was what made me feel down. I’m sure it’s the same for you, even if it was to the extent you would try to...to kill yourself!”

“Please stop yelling-”

“No, you know what? I will not, Sayori. It is disrespectful to me, the person who gave birth to you, when you try to take your own life. For what? So that people will pity you? I work hard everyday, taking on this promotion to feed the family while your father does whatever it is at home he does! Sometimes, it feels like I’m the victim here!”

“I’m sorry! Just stop yelling, please!”

“Please, do not fight, you two,” her father pleaded. “Sayori, do not talk back to your mother. And dear, Sayori doesn’t mean to make you angry. I think we are all a little tired. Let’s not talk about this now, okay?”

Sayori casted her eyes aside, pulling her chin up to her knees and sniffling. She was so weak, to let her mother’s words hurt her and make her want to cry. She didn’t even say anything bad, so why did Sayori feel this way?

 

“Don’t forget to take your meds,” her father had said, handing her a white bottle of depressants before Sayori meekly shut the door to her room and locked it. Sayori unscrewed the cap quickly and dumped out a handful of pills. She swallowed three of them, not bothering to look at the label. The more she ate, the faster she would get better, right? The quicker she’ll go back to her happy, sunny self that didn’t make her father sad, the self that didn’t make her mother angry. 

She then threw the rest into the bottle and closed the lid on it before setting it on her desk and turning to her window. Her parents had thrown out the noose, as well as anything else the doctor had cautioned she could be using to kill herself. 

Sayori sighed, searching for her clothes to change into. Maybe she would go to bed and wake up to realize this was all just a long, terrible dream. She would be able to go back to school, and smile with her friends again. 

Ding.

Sayori turned to see that she had received a message on LINE. In fact, she had three.

She opened the third one, deciding she would read the messages from bottom to top. It was from Natsuki, and it was a cute sticker, as well as the words: 

“Call me when you get discharged”. 

Sayori looked at the time. It was already 11PM, and she knew Natsuki was not allowed to be up this late. She decided she would just talk to her tomorrow morning. The second message was from a classmate from her middle school, asking her if she was free to meet next weekend to go to Harajuku. She quickly responded that she would have to see, before opening the third message. It was from MC.

“Open your window”.

Sayori glanced out at the darkness, and sighed, standing up and cautiously looking down. Sure enough, two stories down, was MC. 

She opened her window quietly, and MC began to scale the tree next to her room. 

“Be careful,” she whispered, and MC nodded, hopping and grabbing to the side of the windowsill before hoisting himself through it.

“Hey,” he said quietly, breathing heavily as he closed the window tightly. “Did you take your medication yet?”

Sayori nodded, watching MC take off the backpack he wore. “What’s in there?” she asked, and he grinned.

“I brought a game to play,” he replied. “Remember this?” he reached into it, and pulled out a game cartridge. Sayori could recognize it as the game they had played together when they were still in elementary school, even though it had faded throughout the years.

“I thought you threw that game out?” Sayori asked, automatically making her way to find her old gaming console.

MC took a seat on her bed, smiling proudly. “I did, too. But I found it!”

Sayori managed to crack a smile back, giggling. “Remember how I would beat you at this all those years ago?”

MC rolled his eyes. “That was back then, Sayori. You probably haven’t played a video game since junior high, right?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t we put our skills to the test?”

Being with MC. Sayori felt at ease. She could put everything behind her briefly, and enter a different world. He was reminiscent of everything she missed; her childhood, her best friend, and her first love. Although he didn’t need to know that last part. Yet.


End file.
